On the Road with the Redheads: Traveling as a Single Mom with Kids
We’re doing it! I recently decided that I wanted to see the Grand Canyon. And since Bugg is in fourth grade where they learn about the National Parks and get a free National Parks pass for their entire fourth grade year and the summer after, I decided that there’s no time like the present.
Here’s our itinerary:
Day 1: Fly to Las Vegas. Drive to Springdale, Utah.
Day 2: Explore Zion National Park
Day 3: Drive to Bryce Canyon. Explore Bryce Canyon. Drive to Capitol Reef National Park.
Day 4: Explore Capitol Reef National Park. Drive to Moab, UT.
Day 5: Explore Arches National Park. Explore Canyonlands National Park.
Day 6: Drive to the Grand Canyon.
Day 7: Explore the Grand Canyon.
Day 8: Drive to Las Vegas. Fly home.
So in short:
- 6 National Parks (entry free to all because of the fourth grade free entry program.
- 4 Hotels (all booked with credit card points)
- 3 Flights (we had a stopover on our way out)
- 20 hours of driving (with me as the only driver)
This is something that I never thought about when I first became a single parent: vacationing. There are so many things that make my stomach drop when I think about them. Things that kids miss out on when their parents split. One of them is family vacations. Some separated families still travel together. Mine does not. If I want to go on a family vacation, it’s all up to me.
I’ve got the travel bug. (Not to be confused with Bugg). I always have. I love planes. I like planning itineraries. My list of places I want to visit is nearly as long as the list of options. Every time I see an opportunity to travel, I move toward it. I haven’t always had the means, but I’ve become good at finding a deal. I’ve been to Africa six times, all paid for. I paid about the same to travel and stay in England for two graduate courses as I would have paid in tuition if I had taken the classes at home.
I had big dreams of us traveling as a family of four when Darth was still around. I imagined RVing across the country, taking the girls to see the Eiffel Tower, summering on the Mediterranean coast. And then there were the occasional family trips to Disney World with Belle and Bugg’s slew of cousins.
Then there was Covid. Then Darth was gone. And traveling became a distant dream.
Sidebar: We have still done the Disney trips even after the divorce. I have traveled as a solo parent with the girls, but I have family with me on those trips, so they’ve been different. I’m not the only adult. The sole responsibility for the girls’ care doesn’t rest with me. I’ll write about those trips – both while I was on chemo and then as a solo parent – in another post.
This time it’s just me – end to end. There’s no family or friends waiting for us when the flight lands. There’s no other adult to “tag in” when my energy is depleted.
Here we are, three across an airplane row, me sipping my good bad coffee (you know exactly what I mean) and writing a blog post while Belle and Bugg watch The Devil Wears Prada. I’m enjoying watching the movie over their shoulders, but I’m laughing at the choice. The New York fashion scene couldn’t be further from the desert where we’re going!
I’m not gonna lie, there were many things that made me doubt my choice to take this trip. Just the thought of all the driving makes me a little bit woozy. B&B are great kids, but I’m still not sure I can keep my sanity. And then there’s the cost.
The main thing that kept us from traveling earlier is the cost. I’m still month-to-month as it is, and putting aside money for travel is still a luxury. Also, for years after the divorce, I forgot what I loved. I was so busy making things work day-to-day that a part of me had to set aside dreams of things like travel. It became a “someday” thing.
And then I learned about traveling for really really cheap, or even free. And opportunities started to open up.
Things that made it possible for us to take this trip:
- Grand-pup-parents willing to watch Lily – if I had to board her, it could cost upwards of $500 or more in our city!
- Credit card points – there’s no way we could afford this trip without them. We’ve already eaten breakfast in the lounge at the airport thanks to a Priority Pass membership attached to a credit card, saving us even more.
- My health, sanity, and good sleep – when you’re a single parent, you simply must be mentally and physically healthy in order to enjoy traveling with your kids.
- A Travel Fund – I learned about Emergency Funds this year, and after I created my Emergency Fund in a High Yield Savings Account, I very soon created a Travel Fund in a separate HYSA. I put in a few hundred dollars of savings, and I add $25 each month. It’s small, but it grows eventually.
I’m a little concerned that I’ve bit off more than I can chew. Flying to take a road trip through the desert is not necessarily the easiest itinerary I could have thought of for my first trip. But I really wanted to see Arches, Zion, and the Grand Canyon and, well…
We also started playing the Trekking the National Parks game last year. Super fun – it’s Ticket to Ride but with the National Parks instead of cities. So my list of parks to see grew, and grew. I couldn’t go all that way and not see as many parks as possible.
So what I need are some strategies to take it easy with all of the driving and the heat.
Strategies on this trip:
- Stay cool – it’s flipping hot where we’re going. We’re going to hike and sightsee in the mornings, and save the afternoons (when temps can reach the 100s) for napping and swimming.
- Drink water – and make B&B drink water. Dehydration in the desert is no joke. We’re going to stop and buy a case or two of water on our way to our first hotel. I already brought a foldable cooler bag from Trader Joe’s to keep water and lunches cold.
- Eat regularly – when I’m alone, I’ll often make a lunch out of an apple or a granola bar. But B&B are always thinking about their next meal. I’m going to plan out when/where we eat ahead of time, so I don’t get stuck in a hangry place looking for our next bite to eat.
- Lots of feelings check-ins – I’m going to try not to push forward and see as much as possible. Instead, I’m going to try to regularly see how the girls are doing, share how I’m feeling too, and adjust plans as necessary.
- Remember that driving is part of our sightseeing – Twenty hours over eight days is a lot of driving. We’re going to stop at scenic lookouts and enjoy the view.
- Prioritize sleep – we’ll take advantage of the time difference and get to bed early. I’ll go to sleep with the kids.
- Stay in the present – just today we have two flights and a 2 ½ hour drive. I’m trying to just think about the next leg of the journey rather than all of it all at once.
Everything is going smoothly so far, but we’re only on flight #1, so stay tuned. If you’re a single mom too and you dream of still traveling as a family, follow my saga to learn the do’s, and don’ts of traveling as a single mom with kids!